Palin motivation

I must confess that I'm absolutely mesmerized by Sarah Palin and her campaign to be Vice President of this great nation.

She has jolted me out of my complacency and shown me the light! I have been wasting myself at my job, slaving away to make money for my employers when I could be serving in public office, leading the nation to bigger and greater things.

What would I do, you ask? Why, I could serve in the next president's cabinet in one of sevaral capacities for which I'm eminently qualified (using the Palin yardstick, that is). For example:

- Secretary of Transportation
Qualifications: I can see planes flying overhead from my backyard everyday! And while I may not actually have used all the modes of transportation (face it, public transit in the bay area sucks!), there is a bus stop within walking distance of my house.

- Chairman of the FCC
Qualifications: I have two cell phones and a clear view through my bedroom window of a new cell tower that's being built a 100 meters from my house. I have also worked extensively for the last 13 years on my communication skills at the behest of my wife who periodically revives her refrain on how I'm not 'communicating' enough.

- Ministry of Internal Affairs
Qualifications: My gastro-intestinal tract is always abuzz with activity - I have gas like you won't believe - but I have managed to keep a lid on all the rumblings and potentially explosive suituations. Now, if that doesn't demonstrate my control over Internal Affairs, I don't know what does!

And so on ... As you can see, the list is virtually endless! I am awakened to my true potential !!

The only challenge will be making it through the stringent vetting process of the selection committee - all avid golf enthusiasts by the sound of it because they seem to think a lower IQ score is a Good thing - but I'm sure I can talk them into giving me a mulligan.
Wait - isn't "mulligan" an Irish term? There - that seals the case for my Foreign Policy experience too!!